You know it. I know it. Dirt Guru knows it. The zombie apocalypse is coming.
And all of you dirt bikers out there have known long before Daryl and Carol (The Walking Dead) that a good bike is essential to surviving (and thriving) in the strange times to come.
The folks at Motoped know it too. Their Survival Bike is a preppers dream come true. After coming to the realization that prepping for post apocalyptic insanity made more sense than I cared to admit, I figured it was time to get my gear list together.
I initially thought to look for protective gear touted by tactical junkies. But zombies ain’t gonna be shooting bullets (or at least I hope not … seems like it’d be hard to shoot straight with those crazy eyes). Your gear needs to protect you from nasty fingernails and gnarly teeth and putrid breath.
Sounds a lot like a dirt bike rally, huh?
Kidding (sort of).
I polled our community to see what they considered “essential gear”. Best tips came from Michael Gomez, Zombie Prep expert and proud member of the 501st Legion which has nothing to do with zombies but everything to do with killer gear and awesomeness.
A machete, it’s strong enough for multiple zombie kills without breaking. Some people always say swords, but the swords available to the general public, especially at Cons are show swords, so 1 or 2 actual hits with it tops before it breaks and you’re f’d!!! A tomahawk type axe is good too, but a machete gives you more zombie killing surface area and provides more distance from your target. Either can be carried on a bike and are reasonably light weight. For a gun, I’d go with a 22 rifle. It’s quiet so the noise won’t attract too many zombies if used, and 22 ammo is one of the most readily available ammo out there, plus you’ll likely find it in most evacuated homes after the shit hits the fan. One with a tactical scope is preferred as it will help with long range zombie kills and hunting game for food. It can also be carried easily on a bike with a shoulder strap or modified rifle holster. I would also say something essential would be a spare gas can since finding gas on the fly will be important to keep your bike moving, has to be small enough to be strapped to the bike too. You’ll also want a smaller knife, possibly a multi tool one for both bike maintenance help and close quarters fighting.
Hat tip to Gerrit Harkness for suggesting a silencer for the exhaust.
Here’s the rest of the gear wish list.
Zombie Apocalypse Helmet
A full face helmet is a must when diving into a zombie frenzy. This badass Covert Ratnik helmet from Scorpion Exo has a few different configurations including clear visor for nocturnal zombie bashing. More dirt bike helmets.
Fox Racing’s Titan Sport Jacket strikes the fine balance between mobility and protection. Added bonus with the removable back-liner and front zipper for easy on-off for those pesky zombies that interrupt your beauty sleep. Check out all of our dirt bike protective gear.
Zombie Apocalypse Boots
Whaddya think? Anything I miss?
UPDATE 8/25/2017 – some crazy Aussies are running a Nerf-style zombie vs. survivor event this fall – daaaammmmn!
The 2017 Guide to Dirt Bike Gear
Make sure your gear is high quality – going cheap could land you in the hospital – or worse.
Best Dirt Bike Helmets
This is a no brainer (pun intended). Head injuries can end all things fun. A good helmet will protect your face from disfigurement, and your brain from life-altering / -ending damage
- Look for ECE or Snell Certified – higher safety standards than DOT alone
- Motorcross helmets are special
- Space for sunglasses or goggles
- Bill with clearance so if helmet makes contact with the ground, your face still won’t
Top Dirt Bike Helmet Brands
Fox, Leatt, Fly, Bell
Best Reviewed Dirt Bike Helmet
Photo Credit: FoxRacing.com
Best Dirt Bike Boots
Protects your feet, ankles and lower legs
- Look for a good mix of mobility and stability
- Break them in before a big competition race. Stiff boots can impede your ability to properly operate your bike.
- Look for boots using materials like steel toes and heels, and leather to protect your legs
Top Dirt Bike Boot Brands
Fox, Alpinestars, Gaerne, Fly
Best Reviewed Dirt Bike Boots
Photo Credit: Motorcycle Superstore
Best Dirt Bike Protective Gear
- Jerseys – colorful and protective, they protect you when hitting the dirt, and when the dirt hits you. Flying rocks, debris, and other riders that try to slap you with their dust.
- Knees, elbows, chest, and neck all need attention
- Proper chest and back protection helps distribute what would be acute impact across your trunk, minimizing specific damage from bone breakage to just getting the wind knocked out of you.
- When it comes to knees and elbows, more is better! Jersey’s are great, but adding padding and even stability (think knee brace) will all help minimize direct impact on your joints.
Top Dirt Bike Protective Gear Brands
POD, Fox, Mobius, Atlas, Fly Racing
Best Reviewed Dirt Bike Protective Gear
Photo Credit: Moto Sport
Best Dirt Bike Gloves
Duh – Better grip, less fatigue, fewer blisters, knuckle protection, palm protection if you have to put your hand to the ground.
Top Dirt Bike Glove Brands
Deft, Fly Racing, Troy Lee, Fox, O’Neal
Best Reviewed Dirt Bike Gloves
Photo Credit: Motorcycle Superstore
Best Dirt Bike Goggles
There’s a lot of dust on the track, you need to keep your eyes open. You want breathable goggles that can still seal out small dust particles that can impact your visibility. Look for a snug custom curved fit, tinted (if you are into that sort of thing), scratch resistant, and prescription for those of us not seeing 20/20.
Top Dirt Bike Goggle Brands
Accuri, Dragon, Scott, Oakley
Best Reviewed Dirt Bike Goggles
Photo Credit: Cycle Gear